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Solution of moon vars

It has coming to my attention that much war of the world and much blood has been instigated upon the determination of the moons for Ramadhan and Eid only.
Sadly, due to Western contamination of the souls and drifting away from the pure path of sufism, and by default the good adab of the sufis, many a molvi, mureed and pir have become victim of such malice. We are now at a stage where each camp has prepared Rottweilers and Bulldogs to fight their corner with bloodthirsty, genocide inducing rigour, and fanaticism.
Sometimes a bite approaches from the dark corners of Forest Gate, other times a fresh ambush from the caves and God forsaken valleys of Lancashire; at instance, a fresh attack is launched from the bowels of Gujrat Shareef in South Africa and most sadly of all, sometimes a bomb is dropped from the alleys of Barmingham Shareef – all in the hope that they may be crowned champions in this very large scale rape of the layman’s mind and fight for supporters with much vigour and rabidity. After much consultation (through blessed tavassul, through asking of my shuyukh -both present and demised- and through much exertion of efforts and consulting scientologists, astronomists and local committee members and uncles – I have made the ijtihad which will hopefully solving the matter this Ramadhans and for Eids. Of course I will not be seeking any monetary support for such endeavour in the name of peace and inter-faith (for those of our friends who are not from the sunni-Pakistani inclinations) nor will I wanting any molvis to fight my corner and take up arms to dissipate their unspent energies and youthful vigour  I will also not be wanting any position of authority and rank (since much blood has already been split in name of leadership and dictatorship) and nor will I want my name engraved in an establishment or Deeni institute though such a action carried out without my knowledge will of course be an individual undertakings.
I am merely an unworthy soul who has been forced by circumstances and by the spilling of blood to do much research to study and reach the depth of this issue and make personal efforts to solve this problem in the community.
I will also make suggestions at the end of what could be becoming of the much adolescent rigour and volatility shown on the parts of the bulldogs of each camp and how such suppressed drives and forces can maybe be dissipated in a correct and sufi sensitive way.

The Issue and Its Solution

 

As explained above many a molvi, pir, and mureed are fighting much to make a solution to implement in mosques and institutions. Many a people have very differing solutions from astronomy, following vahabi regime in Saudi, following sufi peoples in Morocco and Tunisia (I am told by good informant many a people in such locality are also of vahabi inclinations), and also sighting the moons from the hills of West Midlands, Lancashire and Yorkshire. Some people also suggesting we use computers and telescopic calculations and scientologist opinions from Greenwich GMT Observatory.
I am not going to making academic analysis of such debates as many a people and good mureeds of mine have done in past. But I am thinking this fighting has now taken on the sentiments and garb of the wars of Jahiliyyah. One incident come to mind about placing of the Black Stone on the Ka’bah and the fighting the people make but how the Greatest of Creations (Salla Allahu Alaiyhi Vassalam Tasleeman Katheeran Ya Rasullah) become the parson to resolve such disputation from his honourable nature and trustworthy character.
Now I am thinkings this is maybe our solutions; but problem is happening that we have no leader and no one is truly trustworthy to symbolically “place the stone” for us to follow. All peoples and leaders lie and molvis and pir (illa MaSha Allah) from my research and polling making at least some lying in the procurement of government benefits, disability badges, Life in UK Test, Entry for family in UK, Tax Return purposes and warious other monetary privileges. This is wery noble practice and much has been written on that legal status of undermining the Western hegemonic machine so I am not making any judgements but saying we have not one trustworthy parson to place the stone on this issue so to speak.
So I am making ruling that based on the long-standing custom in Britain ewery Wednesday and Saturday, that we take a lottery system to decide which method to adopt. This will also include the vahabi sighting provided that at least one Saudi national announce they see the moon be it a farmer, but as long as adopted by the Saudi country. We make much compromise to include this Vahabi opinion in the system of lottery in the name of peace and good inter-faith but I have full faith that their lot (as dewine favour) will not be one of the winning balls in the lottery. This Method A, I will be calling the lottery method and honorarily give title as the Pir Naseer Ud Din Naseer National Lottery for the Determination of the Moons.

Method B coming in the case people fight over who should maybe start the lottery by turning machine on, and who should maybe present TV programmes or who taking care of warious other matters and funding. In such a situation, after much deliberation I am only seeing we hand the decision making matter to leader of nation (who have ijmaa’ of all scholars by right of British Passport) and we follow the ruling of Prince Charles. My research and warious mureed say he much inclined to Islam and have good faith and wishes and also he wisit various mosque so one is not in position to doubt his inner beliefs and thoughts and love for the awliyaa since he also whist Barmigham Shareef numerous times.
This Method B I am naming the Raees al Watan Prince of Wales Fatwa for the Determination of Moon Sightings.

I am having full faith this will be resolving the matter with much expediency and will hopefully prowide opportunity to move forward, take part in spiritual cleansing and good sufi ways and resume search for spiritual enlightenment and spiritual penetration.

As for the potent energy which such resolution will leave in our molvi kiraam, pir hazraat, and piyare
mureedeen, I am suggesting following method to dissipate such latent virility and fervour:
1) Taking much part in hadra and spiritual exertion.
2) Taking part in good practice of polygamy and for more blessing, Shariah compliant act of consanguineous marriage to good Pakistani women.
3) Taking part in sports and Shariah compliant physical activities such as wrestling, jogging, weight-lifting and swimming.
4) Join various other group which welcome much extremism, shouting, polemics, kurta ripping, and mud-slinging such as Pakistani Parliament, MPAC, Question Time, Khatme Nubuwwat Movement, Street Salafism or as Deobandi protesting against blessed act of
Milad-un-Nabi outside Ghamkol Shareef Masjid.
5) Joining various local organisations for fight against EDL and taking part in regular skirmish and fist fighting (especially adwisedable for molvi who were vocal and excited on moon sighting issue).
6) Joining Sipa-e-Sahaba, West Midland Branch.
7) Joining Tablighi Jamaat as a reformist with advice from Zia Uddin Sardar.
8) Practising Group Zikr in Saudi Arabia and asking for directions to Tomb of Awliyaa from Vazaratul Awqaf.
9) Joining Matam ceremony in Muharram with local Shia movement in name of Inter-Faith Work.
10) Making much fasting and controlling of the nafs to fight ego and cleanse one soul of malice, avarice, ill-intent and love for fame and world domination.
11) Joining rebel movement in Libya as good ulama of haq.
12) Partake in the practising of halalah in Western Europes to dissipation of verile energy unspent from uninteresting marriages for pirs and molvis.
13) Conduct jihad and war in vocal form on online forums so as to limit the collateral damaging to general publics and maybe calling the forums ‘UlamaaWars’.com
14) Preventing of eating too much fried and high cholesterol foods (as part of the standard molvi and pir benchmark) and hence reduce the physical energies available for dissipation
15) Continuing the good wars and fighting with the vahabi people – as molvis and pirs we having good alliance and cooperation on this issues.
I am believing that such actions will readily dissipate the unspent energy spent in the spilling of much blood and slaughtering of peoples in the establishment of Moon Sighting Monopoly. I am thinking much has crept in from the movement of Western hegemony of ideas into every pir, shaykh and mureed that he want to monopolise his position and wanting of world domination.

By Pir Karam Nishapuri
(sarcasm

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